Back to the US and now i am pretty excited about all that are going to happen in the next four months!!!
www.thrumylens.me
http://www.statravel.com/cps/rde/xchg/us_division_web_live/hs.xsl/work-abroad.htm?gclid=CNCDqNCJvKoCFYeD5QodUQS49Q
August 06, 2011
August 03, 2011
Summer half way through
Without realization that summer is already half way through already. it seems that i have accomplished a lot in this summer. work, study, family time, life. I have finished 6 credits, 2 summer jobs, 1 summer camp, going home, 2 visas application, 4 doctors appointment.. what else? it has been pretty crazy . Today i sorta realize that the richest people on earth are those with the greatest love. interesting hah? and family is just the best way to learn about love. It is a kind of love that goes beyond appearance, feeling.. blah. but commitment, forgiveness, unfailing love. I pray today that God will allow me to experience more of that!
this time coming back to hk is pretty significant since i am able to connect with many family members, uncle, aunt, cousins, grandmas. Sometime i really realize that it is such a pity that many dont really get to know their family. the kind of "know" is not just about knowing of who they are, but more of a knowing them, as a person, knowing their hobbit, their interests, their desire, their dreams, their anxious thoughts. Sometimes i think, out of ten billion people, one in thousand chances, we are able to be called as a family. isnt it precious and worthwhile to cherish? We visited grandma, i visited big aunt, had dinner with uncle, and blah.
Apart from family, the other thing that i did is to connect with friends, of course:) it is so good to see friends again. sometimes it is hard to fathom how many friends i actually have in hk, comparing to the desolation in US, where everything is so spread out and apart. You cannot really call up your friend to meet up in 20 mins anytime. Somehow in this summer, God really speak to me from various ways about the importance of relationship and how He cherishes relationship and how He actually uses relationships between ppl to honor Him in ways beyond what we can imagine. In this year's gateway camp, there were a couple individuals really spoke to and prayed for me and in regard to the significance of relationship. Truly, relationship is all that matters.
i am pretty excited about my semester at sea, yet the excitement does not hit me as strong as i would like it to be though. will be going back to CT in two days... um.. not really ready yet. what God has prepared for me in Toah Nipi? Dear God, i am really nothing without you. teach me the right way to go so that i can follow after you closely and tightly.
Apart from family, the other thing that i did is to connect with friends, of course:) it is so good to see friends again. sometimes it is hard to fathom how many friends i actually have in hk, comparing to the desolation in US, where everything is so spread out and apart. You cannot really call up your friend to meet up in 20 mins anytime. Somehow in this summer, God really speak to me from various ways about the importance of relationship and how He cherishes relationship and how He actually uses relationships between ppl to honor Him in ways beyond what we can imagine. In this year's gateway camp, there were a couple individuals really spoke to and prayed for me and in regard to the significance of relationship. Truly, relationship is all that matters.
i am pretty excited about my semester at sea, yet the excitement does not hit me as strong as i would like it to be though. will be going back to CT in two days... um.. not really ready yet. what God has prepared for me in Toah Nipi? Dear God, i am really nothing without you. teach me the right way to go so that i can follow after you closely and tightly.
June 17, 2011
June 14, 2011
A desperate and unrelenting heart…Internal state lately.
Summer has passed a month already. One summer course is down. Now I am sitting at the student union lounge, reading my bible, thinking about God, friendship, life, where I am at, who I am, why I am here. No doubt, there are a lot to think about. Storrs is quite, summer is even more quite. When I think back this year, what has God been showing me? what is God speaking to me? where God is leading me to?
Sometimes I am really lost for words. I think I have a lot of “don’t know in these past months” than ever in my life. I mean, I shouldn’t be, life should be super joyful and super awesome, especially in a Christian’s life. But how come my life is always full of questions? I come to the Lord again and again. When I have a lot of questions about Him, I always like to go for a run, to the horsebarn hill, to cry out and to pray, where nobody can hear and see me. Do I still have to believe in Him that His plan for me is good even no one really celebrates or remember my birthday? Do I still have to believe that He loves me when no one cares about me? Do I still have to believe that He has a great plan for me when I am working for catering this year and cleaning the bathroom last summer? What’s the deal? Especially when my peers seem like have their summer plans fall into places? Some work in the mayor office, some work in high court, some have internship. Do I still have to believe in Him that He is a God who does not have favorism as one of His principles when I constantly feel bias does exist in the world? What’s the deal? Where are my good friends? My heart is desperate, unrelenting, burning with hatred, questions, anger, disappointments, uncertainty, unloving
Couple days ago, it’s the wedding of my swiss friend, Sara. I knew that there were about 400 people in her wedding. Wow, that’s so awesome. Would my wedding have 400 people as well? Would I be able to find a good-looking, Godly, loving Husband as well? No one likes me, I bet most people would just send me a couple pennies for my wedding. Why? Because I know so.
1 An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends
and against all sound judgment starts quarrels.
2 Fools find no pleasure in understanding
but delight in airing their own opinions.
3 When wickedness comes, so does contempt,
and with shame comes reproach.
4 The words of the mouth are deep waters,
but the fountain of wisdom is a rushing stream.
5 It is not good to be partial to the wicked
and so deprive the innocent of justice.
6 The lips of fools bring them strife,
and their mouths invite a beating.
7 The mouths of fools are their undoing,
and their lips are a snare to their very lives.
8 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels;
they go down to the inmost parts.
9 One who is slack in his work
is brother to one who destroys.
10 The name of the LORD is a fortified tower;
the righteous run to it and are safe.
11 The wealth of the rich is their fortified city;
they imagine it a wall too high to scale.
12 Before a downfall the heart is haughty,
but humility comes before honor.
13 To answer before listening—
that is folly and shame.
14 The human spirit can endure in sickness,
but a crushed spirit who can bear?
15 The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge,
for the ears of the wise seek it out.
16 A gift opens the way
and ushers the giver into the presence of the great.
17 In a lawsuit the first to speak seems right,
until someone comes forward and cross-examines.
18 Casting the lot settles disputes
and keeps strong opponents apart.
19 A brother wronged is more unyielding than a fortified city;
disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.
20 From the fruit of their mouth a person’s stomach is filled;
with the harvest of their lips they are satisfied.
21 The tongue has the power of life and death,
and those who love it will eat its fruit.
22 He who finds a wife finds what is good
and receives favor from the LORD.
23 The poor plead for mercy,
but the rich answer harshly.
24 One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Sometimes I am really lost for words. I think I have a lot of “don’t know in these past months” than ever in my life. I mean, I shouldn’t be, life should be super joyful and super awesome, especially in a Christian’s life. But how come my life is always full of questions? I come to the Lord again and again. When I have a lot of questions about Him, I always like to go for a run, to the horsebarn hill, to cry out and to pray, where nobody can hear and see me. Do I still have to believe in Him that His plan for me is good even no one really celebrates or remember my birthday? Do I still have to believe that He loves me when no one cares about me? Do I still have to believe that He has a great plan for me when I am working for catering this year and cleaning the bathroom last summer? What’s the deal? Especially when my peers seem like have their summer plans fall into places? Some work in the mayor office, some work in high court, some have internship. Do I still have to believe in Him that He is a God who does not have favorism as one of His principles when I constantly feel bias does exist in the world? What’s the deal? Where are my good friends? My heart is desperate, unrelenting, burning with hatred, questions, anger, disappointments, uncertainty, unloving
Couple days ago, it’s the wedding of my swiss friend, Sara. I knew that there were about 400 people in her wedding. Wow, that’s so awesome. Would my wedding have 400 people as well? Would I be able to find a good-looking, Godly, loving Husband as well? No one likes me, I bet most people would just send me a couple pennies for my wedding. Why? Because I know so.
1 An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends
and against all sound judgment starts quarrels.
2 Fools find no pleasure in understanding
but delight in airing their own opinions.
3 When wickedness comes, so does contempt,
and with shame comes reproach.
4 The words of the mouth are deep waters,
but the fountain of wisdom is a rushing stream.
5 It is not good to be partial to the wicked
and so deprive the innocent of justice.
6 The lips of fools bring them strife,
and their mouths invite a beating.
7 The mouths of fools are their undoing,
and their lips are a snare to their very lives.
8 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels;
they go down to the inmost parts.
9 One who is slack in his work
is brother to one who destroys.
10 The name of the LORD is a fortified tower;
the righteous run to it and are safe.
11 The wealth of the rich is their fortified city;
they imagine it a wall too high to scale.
12 Before a downfall the heart is haughty,
but humility comes before honor.
13 To answer before listening—
that is folly and shame.
14 The human spirit can endure in sickness,
but a crushed spirit who can bear?
15 The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge,
for the ears of the wise seek it out.
16 A gift opens the way
and ushers the giver into the presence of the great.
17 In a lawsuit the first to speak seems right,
until someone comes forward and cross-examines.
18 Casting the lot settles disputes
and keeps strong opponents apart.
19 A brother wronged is more unyielding than a fortified city;
disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.
20 From the fruit of their mouth a person’s stomach is filled;
with the harvest of their lips they are satisfied.
21 The tongue has the power of life and death,
and those who love it will eat its fruit.
22 He who finds a wife finds what is good
and receives favor from the LORD.
23 The poor plead for mercy,
but the rich answer harshly.
24 One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
June 13, 2011
Summer 2011
Summer has been ok... sometimes i feel pretty lost. especially when not people are around.
Storrs is quiet and has little people.
how hard it is to love non christians without backing up by a strong christian community?...
i miss my aunt, my dad, my Godly friends......
The bridge has been ok. sometimes though, i feel like i have been abandoned by God.
Storrs is quiet and has little people.
how hard it is to love non christians without backing up by a strong christian community?...
i miss my aunt, my dad, my Godly friends......
The bridge has been ok. sometimes though, i feel like i have been abandoned by God.
May 31, 2011
pondering, thinking,
Today i move into the new apartment that I, Megan, Adriana, and Danny all share. Adriana is a bit cranky these days and now Danny and Adriana are lying and sleeping on the same bed next to mine. i wonder why they did that. I know that God you have prepared a place for me to dwell, and it's totally your plan that Adriana found another roomate to live in the spring semester, but not me. At one point i was pretty frustrated because i dont know where i am living and staying after i come back from semester at sea. God where you are leading me? what you want me to see? my heart seeks after and chases after you. I need you more and more each day.
May 30, 2011
Going Home
So after a couple months of thinking and battling going home or not going home, finally i bought the ticket home on July 12 , 2011. but i will be going home for three weeks only.
I am excited to go home to see my parents, see grandma, see friends. and i am excited to see what God has prepared for me in this summer.
I am about to move into the apartment tomorrow. Adriana has been pretty cranky lately. and the whole housing situation has been driving me crazy. i dont know, my heart has been in the turmoil lately and deep inside my heart i always have this yearning and desire to be close to someone who will be there understanding what i am trying to say or think .
I am now listening to Strings by Misty Edwards. this song has always been stirring my heart and dig to the deepest area of my heart core. Everytime when i run up to the horsebarn hill, laying down over there. my heart has thousands of thoughts. i have peace yet uncertainty within me. sometimes i just cry out to God: Now what God? what's the deal? what's the purpose of my life? why?
sometimes i like my life but sometimes i really hate it. I am not satisfy with my present knowledge of God. I feel like I do not know enough people. I feel like God does not treasure me as much as others. Why am I chinese? Why am I not european, americans whom they have advantage over many things and their culture can enjoy life? ]
What is God's favor? i do not understand. Why some people were born with high social status, good family background, endless money while some were born with birth defects, low income family? I need to encounter you God. I want more of you. i need you. shout it out to me. you are an audible voice? a still voice? i dont know. Sometimes you frustrate me God. Who are you? your multi-identity frustrates and confuses me. So you are my friend, my savior, my king, what's the deal? there is an interrole conflict!!!
I am excited to go home to see my parents, see grandma, see friends. and i am excited to see what God has prepared for me in this summer.
I am about to move into the apartment tomorrow. Adriana has been pretty cranky lately. and the whole housing situation has been driving me crazy. i dont know, my heart has been in the turmoil lately and deep inside my heart i always have this yearning and desire to be close to someone who will be there understanding what i am trying to say or think .
I am now listening to Strings by Misty Edwards. this song has always been stirring my heart and dig to the deepest area of my heart core. Everytime when i run up to the horsebarn hill, laying down over there. my heart has thousands of thoughts. i have peace yet uncertainty within me. sometimes i just cry out to God: Now what God? what's the deal? what's the purpose of my life? why?
sometimes i like my life but sometimes i really hate it. I am not satisfy with my present knowledge of God. I feel like I do not know enough people. I feel like God does not treasure me as much as others. Why am I chinese? Why am I not european, americans whom they have advantage over many things and their culture can enjoy life? ]
What is God's favor? i do not understand. Why some people were born with high social status, good family background, endless money while some were born with birth defects, low income family? I need to encounter you God. I want more of you. i need you. shout it out to me. you are an audible voice? a still voice? i dont know. Sometimes you frustrate me God. Who are you? your multi-identity frustrates and confuses me. So you are my friend, my savior, my king, what's the deal? there is an interrole conflict!!!
May 17, 2011
A heart for nations
I pray for China today that God will raise up a generation, a government, a army in China that is worthy of His grace and sacrifice. I pray that i would be able to go back to HK this summer and i would be able to bless this rising nation.
I pray that this Chinese generation would be filled with one holy desire and one holy passion. People today would no longer only working for the sake of money but for the sake of Christ. May God brings redemption and conviction to Chinese people, government, military structure,
China, now is your time. Shine through and breakthrough!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H77pZGzUUZI
http://abcnews.go.com/WN/China/china-pushes-english-language/story?id=12154435&sms_ss=facebook&at_xt=4dd29ff09e6463ab%2C0
I pray that this Chinese generation would be filled with one holy desire and one holy passion. People today would no longer only working for the sake of money but for the sake of Christ. May God brings redemption and conviction to Chinese people, government, military structure,
China, now is your time. Shine through and breakthrough!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H77pZGzUUZI
http://abcnews.go.com/WN/China/china-pushes-english-language/story?id=12154435&sms_ss=facebook&at_xt=4dd29ff09e6463ab%2C0
May 03, 2011
Finals week!
This is the final week! can't believe it flies by so fast!
yea i need to enjoy youth as much as i can!!! God hope that you would be help me to crack down these finals in order to glorify you!!!i pray that i would be able to get the dept of dining service job and everything would work out just fine!
thanks God for listening my prayers today that i was able to do well in COMM 3100 persuasion exam. Amen! prayers work!
yea i need to enjoy youth as much as i can!!! God hope that you would be help me to crack down these finals in order to glorify you!!!i pray that i would be able to get the dept of dining service job and everything would work out just fine!
thanks God for listening my prayers today that i was able to do well in COMM 3100 persuasion exam. Amen! prayers work!
March 02, 2011
Feburary 2011
Time flies and now is Feburary already. Recently I am having one of the most crazy week ever, have been in the library for so many days already. Five days in a row, at least 5 hours a day. Sometimes i wonder if i can sustain that long. I just had two exams today, hoping they would turn well. I will have one paper due tomorrow. and one more exam on Friday, CRAZY!!!!
There have been so much happening that i really do not know where to pen, First is thea stops praying with me, which really frustrate me in a way. Sometimes i really all by myself during my walk with him, while seeing many of my friends seem to get connected to some spiritual leaders, important people, sometimes just made me wonder and anxious what role do i play and how can i fit into His big picture.
Sometimes i wonder if God is even fair to me, even though i always learn of His justice and mercy and righteousness and whatsoever. But God can you direct my way? Friendship has been on my mind often lately, i do not know who is my friend or which friend will stay long, the friend that i used to be friend with seems to be very distant and I am not sure if I should continue to be friend with them. Sometimes i really cannot stand some people who would like to know more people just because they want to connect to people or whatsoever. Sometimes i am so confused, i am perplexed, i do NOT understand.
Does God favor? Does God choose people and anoint especially? how about the kids in South Africa? How about other people? why i am always the one who perserve and it seems that no one goes with me and i am all alone?
January 29, 2011
First Week of School
So the first week of class has passed already.
There were so many things happened that i really do not know where to begin with.
Slowly and gradually, you would realize God is all you need when God is all you've got.
The past week was intense, tiring, and spiritually packed.
how do you really hold on to His hands and don't let go in the midst of trials?
How do you really trust when every situation that you are in is challenging and hard to trust?
How do you realize He is the source of everything when everything seems to against you?
How do you continue to love when everything is so unlovable and you feel unloved?
How
There were so many things happened that i really do not know where to begin with.
Slowly and gradually, you would realize God is all you need when God is all you've got.
The past week was intense, tiring, and spiritually packed.
how do you really hold on to His hands and don't let go in the midst of trials?
How do you really trust when every situation that you are in is challenging and hard to trust?
How do you realize He is the source of everything when everything seems to against you?
How do you continue to love when everything is so unlovable and you feel unloved?
How
January 16, 2011
Since grace of God is so great. then can we continue to sin then?
No:)
I reviewed my devos and notes and have these thoughts
There is no doubt that in Christ we have infinite forgiveness for every sin, Jesus did it on the cross to forgive our sins, once and for all. He did so "according to the riches of His grace, which He lavished upon you"-- Eph 1:8
" In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment-- to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ" ( Eph 1:7-10)
We cannot sin beyond God's grace, because where sin abounds, grace super-abounds
" but where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord" ( Rom. 5:20)
You are forgiven for every sin--past, present, and future, You will never be condemned by God or seperated from Him ( Rom. 8:1-2,31-39)
However, many might ask, if God's grace is that great, can we continue to sin then?
In 2 Tim, it is said that
" Everyone who confesses the name of Lord must turn from wickedness" ( 2 Tim 19)
and God called us to to live a Holy life-- "not because what we have done but becuase of his own purpose and grace. " ( 2 Tim 8)
There are only two kind of slaves in this world, slave to sin or slave to God.
" But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. ( Rom 6:22-23)
Roman 6:15
January 13, 2011
God calls us to put on the wedding garment
Thank you Heavenly Dad for a new day!!!!
Today, you show me more about what is it mean by the Kingdom of Heaven.
- Faith ( Luke 13:18)
- Forgiveness ( Matt 18:23)
- Power ( 1 Corin 4:20)
- Within me ( Luke 17:21)
- Treasure ( Matt 13:45)
- Follow Christ ( Matt 19:21)
- Humility ( Matt 20:28)
- Righteousness ( Matt 21:31)
I come across these two scriptures even though i don't really understand yet i believe that You will show me and teach me through your spirit.
" The stone the builders rejected has become the capstone; the Lord has done this and it's marvelous in our eyes. He who falls on this stone will be broken to pieces, but he on whom it falls will be crushed" ( Matt 21:42)
The stone that the builders rejected = Jesus
Those who fall on Jesus will be broken by truth-- no longer live by themselves
But those who don't fall on Jesus/truth , then when the wrath of God comes, they will be crushed.
- A person may be broken with repentence as a result of falling on Christ.
- A person refused to repent, the result is judgement
" For many are invited, but few are chosen" ( Matt 22:14)
- Many are invited, few come
- Many come, but few are chosen
- To me, i think there are two steps to be chosen
- when called, follow
- when follow, put on a garment ( obeying and following Christ
The wedding garment is all that matters--- many are called by God and respond by consecrating to righteous living. They receive John's baptism, but, like the Ephesian and the Hebrews at that time, they are not baptized into Christ. they have not put on Christ. therefore it is important to put on the wedding garment( Christ)
January 12, 2011
Two days in Museums
In these two days, i went to two museums, Museum of Modern Art and Hispanic Society of Americas. I had to pay $12 to go into the Museum of Modern Art while Hispanic Society of Americas was free of charge. Yesterday, I spent more than 5 hours in Museum of Modern Art. I was glad that i did not get lost in finding its location. It was pretty nice, with six floors. I pretty liked it even though it was not as impressive as i thought it would be, given the fact that I had to pay $12 dollars to go inside... anyway. Here are some pictures, haha, there was even a person who played the piano from the back of it.
It was freezing cold and i even got a headache after being out for that long. After visiting the Museum of Modern Art, I went to Time Sqaure .
Today i went to Hispanic Society of Americas. It was located at W 153 St Broadway. In the museum, there are a lot of sculptures and a couple floors of pictures
It wasn't that bad since it was a free museum. After the museum, i wandered on the street. there was a stunning number of Hispanic shops in this area. I even got the chance to practice my spanish!! hahah. After that i went to a couple 99 C stores and i was always very joyful whenever i went into those stores because the stuff over there are always so cheap!!!:))
It was freezing cold and i even got a headache after being out for that long. After visiting the Museum of Modern Art, I went to Time Sqaure .
Today i went to Hispanic Society of Americas. It was located at W 153 St Broadway. In the museum, there are a lot of sculptures and a couple floors of pictures
It wasn't that bad since it was a free museum. After the museum, i wandered on the street. there was a stunning number of Hispanic shops in this area. I even got the chance to practice my spanish!! hahah. After that i went to a couple 99 C stores and i was always very joyful whenever i went into those stores because the stuff over there are always so cheap!!!:))
January 09, 2011
I need you
Dear God, I just want to tell you that I need you so much. More than anything else in this universe.
January 07, 2011
some fear
I am so freaking scared today somehow by an email from a professor.... arghhh so scared still. I was email to a professor in regard to a class that i want to get into. however, since i was not able to get a hold of him, i was trying to contact some other faculty members who may be able to help me out with my class schedule. may be it goes back again to the limitation in written communication... I emailed Dr. Nowek, whom i think is the head of the department about how hard it is to contact some instructors. then the instructor kinda scolded me in the email, saying that i should not be expecting instructor's email that soon especially during vacation... but actually i was referring to another email which i sent couple weeks ago. somehow i don't know why but i am always so scared of professors... due to past experience...
January 04, 2011
Transformation
After all of these travelling, I finally arrived at Aunt and Uncle's place. How true and faithful God's promises are as He shows me through delay and people throughout the last five days.
Thanks:
I want to thank God for listening my prayers that i finally be able to arrive Kansas City safely after all the snow storms and hindrance. While I felt such a strong force in stopping me to go to Kansas City, somehow God just lead me all the way through.
Undoubtedly, in this trip, I have experienced God's great love and promises first time in this half year. Seriously, I really don't know where to start from. This past week God has consistently been showing me things that always blew my mind off.
I have had some really good talks with Aubrey. It is always good to see old friends again. We went to Boiler Room together, as well as IHOP together. We have had some really good fellowship together.
The second day after the conference was over, a group of people from Wisconsin ( Joann, Katie, Dayn, Hui, and Anthony) went to ice-skating near Crown Plaza. it was freezing cold but amazingly fun. Katie, I dont' know why, that she paid for all of us.... we had a lot of fun and took a lot of pictures.
After ice-skating and went back home, they suddenly prayed for and prayed with me. Throughout the prayer, I felt His tenderness, His grace, and His love. I have never had " all for me" feeling for such a long time that people are praying for me earnestly. To me, it's just too hard to believe that's true. The first day after the conference, I briefly shared about where I am at recently spiritually. I had a lot and a lot of questions about God. I don't know where I am going, why I am where i am. What I can see right now, I am just so withdrawn from familarity. No one knows me and I know nobody. Even on top of my head i know that He is near but yet He seems so distant. My heart is always so anxious in knowing how I am going to fit in God's story when many surround me have had already done a lot of great things for God. Even though I know that I should not compare, but yet it's hard not to compare. My heart is wrestling with God i would say but I am just don't understand what God is doing.
But it's so great that God just uses a lot of different individuals to speak to my heart, so affirming and so powerful. While i feel so blessed while Wendy and Dayn were praying for me, I can really feel the presence of Holy Spirit over me, protecting and covering me. And i shared about how restless I am putting me best in establishing friendship yet the friendship After Wendy and Dayn have left, Katie, Aubrey, Hui, and me stayed behind talking. And I talked about how incomprehensible i feel about God in not letting me to greater things. Instead, He puts me in position like cleaning toilet, washing toilet. Why my parents do not connect me to people that would help me grow spiritually. While i don't know and cannot see the big pictures, God sends people like Katie in my life, affirming me so much that " My life is gonna be so exciting, i am even more anointed by God then many worship leaders; I am going to be so powerful so that's why Satin tried to put me down; I am going to be a great influence but IT IS JUST NOT TIME YET. you have been the last for a while and now it is about time for you to be the first.
My heart is super burdened, i dont even know if that's the right word to say. but it's just super awesome, it is crazy how a random person from Wisconsin ( out of 25000 people in the whole conference) met someone from Hong Kong, saying something that is soo affirming directly to my heart. God, you are just too Good.
Thank You Lord from Aubrey that I am able to see her in this trip.
Lord, show me more how to trust in You. If the word you said to me is true, please show me God. Show me you are the provider, Show me that my life is going to be awesome, show me that you are the source of everything, show me that you are FOR ME, show me that you have CHOSEN ME.
Thanks:
I want to thank God for listening my prayers that i finally be able to arrive Kansas City safely after all the snow storms and hindrance. While I felt such a strong force in stopping me to go to Kansas City, somehow God just lead me all the way through.
- Thank you for Wendy's hospitality, she is one the most hospitable person that I have even seen. She can really let people to feel like home.
- Thank you God for speaking to heart through people and speaker.
Undoubtedly, in this trip, I have experienced God's great love and promises first time in this half year. Seriously, I really don't know where to start from. This past week God has consistently been showing me things that always blew my mind off.
I have had some really good talks with Aubrey. It is always good to see old friends again. We went to Boiler Room together, as well as IHOP together. We have had some really good fellowship together.
The second day after the conference was over, a group of people from Wisconsin ( Joann, Katie, Dayn, Hui, and Anthony) went to ice-skating near Crown Plaza. it was freezing cold but amazingly fun. Katie, I dont' know why, that she paid for all of us.... we had a lot of fun and took a lot of pictures.
After ice-skating and went back home, they suddenly prayed for and prayed with me. Throughout the prayer, I felt His tenderness, His grace, and His love. I have never had " all for me" feeling for such a long time that people are praying for me earnestly. To me, it's just too hard to believe that's true. The first day after the conference, I briefly shared about where I am at recently spiritually. I had a lot and a lot of questions about God. I don't know where I am going, why I am where i am. What I can see right now, I am just so withdrawn from familarity. No one knows me and I know nobody. Even on top of my head i know that He is near but yet He seems so distant. My heart is always so anxious in knowing how I am going to fit in God's story when many surround me have had already done a lot of great things for God. Even though I know that I should not compare, but yet it's hard not to compare. My heart is wrestling with God i would say but I am just don't understand what God is doing.
But it's so great that God just uses a lot of different individuals to speak to my heart, so affirming and so powerful. While i feel so blessed while Wendy and Dayn were praying for me, I can really feel the presence of Holy Spirit over me, protecting and covering me. And i shared about how restless I am putting me best in establishing friendship yet the friendship After Wendy and Dayn have left, Katie, Aubrey, Hui, and me stayed behind talking. And I talked about how incomprehensible i feel about God in not letting me to greater things. Instead, He puts me in position like cleaning toilet, washing toilet. Why my parents do not connect me to people that would help me grow spiritually. While i don't know and cannot see the big pictures, God sends people like Katie in my life, affirming me so much that " My life is gonna be so exciting, i am even more anointed by God then many worship leaders; I am going to be so powerful so that's why Satin tried to put me down; I am going to be a great influence but IT IS JUST NOT TIME YET. you have been the last for a while and now it is about time for you to be the first.
My heart is super burdened, i dont even know if that's the right word to say. but it's just super awesome, it is crazy how a random person from Wisconsin ( out of 25000 people in the whole conference) met someone from Hong Kong, saying something that is soo affirming directly to my heart. God, you are just too Good.
Thank You Lord from Aubrey that I am able to see her in this trip.
Lord, show me more how to trust in You. If the word you said to me is true, please show me God. Show me you are the provider, Show me that my life is going to be awesome, show me that you are the source of everything, show me that you are FOR ME, show me that you have CHOSEN ME.
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