Thanks:
I want to thank God for listening my prayers that i finally be able to arrive Kansas City safely after all the snow storms and hindrance. While I felt such a strong force in stopping me to go to Kansas City, somehow God just lead me all the way through.
- Thank you for Wendy's hospitality, she is one the most hospitable person that I have even seen. She can really let people to feel like home.
- Thank you God for speaking to heart through people and speaker.
Undoubtedly, in this trip, I have experienced God's great love and promises first time in this half year. Seriously, I really don't know where to start from. This past week God has consistently been showing me things that always blew my mind off.
I have had some really good talks with Aubrey. It is always good to see old friends again. We went to Boiler Room together, as well as IHOP together. We have had some really good fellowship together.
The second day after the conference was over, a group of people from Wisconsin ( Joann, Katie, Dayn, Hui, and Anthony) went to ice-skating near Crown Plaza. it was freezing cold but amazingly fun. Katie, I dont' know why, that she paid for all of us.... we had a lot of fun and took a lot of pictures.
After ice-skating and went back home, they suddenly prayed for and prayed with me. Throughout the prayer, I felt His tenderness, His grace, and His love. I have never had " all for me" feeling for such a long time that people are praying for me earnestly. To me, it's just too hard to believe that's true. The first day after the conference, I briefly shared about where I am at recently spiritually. I had a lot and a lot of questions about God. I don't know where I am going, why I am where i am. What I can see right now, I am just so withdrawn from familarity. No one knows me and I know nobody. Even on top of my head i know that He is near but yet He seems so distant. My heart is always so anxious in knowing how I am going to fit in God's story when many surround me have had already done a lot of great things for God. Even though I know that I should not compare, but yet it's hard not to compare. My heart is wrestling with God i would say but I am just don't understand what God is doing.
But it's so great that God just uses a lot of different individuals to speak to my heart, so affirming and so powerful. While i feel so blessed while Wendy and Dayn were praying for me, I can really feel the presence of Holy Spirit over me, protecting and covering me. And i shared about how restless I am putting me best in establishing friendship yet the friendship After Wendy and Dayn have left, Katie, Aubrey, Hui, and me stayed behind talking. And I talked about how incomprehensible i feel about God in not letting me to greater things. Instead, He puts me in position like cleaning toilet, washing toilet. Why my parents do not connect me to people that would help me grow spiritually. While i don't know and cannot see the big pictures, God sends people like Katie in my life, affirming me so much that " My life is gonna be so exciting, i am even more anointed by God then many worship leaders; I am going to be so powerful so that's why Satin tried to put me down; I am going to be a great influence but IT IS JUST NOT TIME YET. you have been the last for a while and now it is about time for you to be the first.
My heart is super burdened, i dont even know if that's the right word to say. but it's just super awesome, it is crazy how a random person from Wisconsin ( out of 25000 people in the whole conference) met someone from Hong Kong, saying something that is soo affirming directly to my heart. God, you are just too Good.
Thank You Lord from Aubrey that I am able to see her in this trip.
Lord, show me more how to trust in You. If the word you said to me is true, please show me God. Show me you are the provider, Show me that my life is going to be awesome, show me that you are the source of everything, show me that you are FOR ME, show me that you have CHOSEN ME.
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